Confusion

by Cassandra
(Canada )

I can't tell if any part of him is true or not. It's like a bad dream. Was any of emotions, love etc even real? Or was I just another # to him.

Cheated on me while I was pregnant, long distance with his child (we had no choice but to be long distance due to some circumstances)... Cheated on me FIVE days after I went to visit him pregnant.... Then I find out and it's almost every story in the book... He can't just give one straight up story, it's like he doesn't even know himself. The second you confront him, he either withdrawals completely, which has always been his problem solving tactic or he is defensive, my feelings are as if it's just this big headache or another 'problem' for him to deal with. He has basically told me the other woman was better than me in bed, then recently tells me that he is losing interest in me having the type of relationship we do as we are still distant because after I found out about the cheating I didn't go to his country where I was going to move, leave all my family and life behind so he is basically trying to blame me for as to why he isn't 'trying' ... Then my problem is I am trying to look at his upbringing, see he is damaged, had a damaged life and I empathize with him, meanwhile he's not wasting his time thinking about me the way I am.
It's hard to know reality from fiction. He has this side to him, at least I thought that was the most caring,
Compassionate, loving man I have EVER met in my life then suddenly he's this other person, this dark, heartless person. It's like a bad nightmare and I don't even know whether I should go there with the baby or not as he can't even enter my country without a visa in which he has been declined so I feel this guilt like its my fault if he hasn't met his daughter, when yet.... He did this.....

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