Generous Narcissist

by M
(Florida)

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 1/2 years, but have known each other for 26 years. It is long distance. He started this relationship flying me in, spoiling me, expensive dinners. He now lives 3 hours away right by Disney and bought me and my daughter annual passes to all the theme parks, because he really loves theme parks and will pay for that and let his bills lapse. Also he wants me to drive to see him and never wants to come see me in my town, in my life. Very irresponsible, impulsive, controlling. I am a struggling single mom in a lot of debt and the most important thing for me is my responsibilities and getting out of debt. But my boyfriend constantly sabotages my efforts. He promises to reimburse me if I drive to see him, then changes his mind after I incur the cost. When I point it out, he is outraged at how ungrateful I am. But the parks don't matter to me, my safety and future do. He wants me to incur more debt so I need him for everything. The last time we had a Disney weekend, he said come up, it won't cost you a dime. But he was out of money so I put all food, etc on my credit card, and when he reimbursed he shorted me $78 which is a lot for me. Plus he justified it by saying I was frivolous and ate too much food. He actually blamed me for his inability to keep a promise. I feel thankful that it is long distance. He can't hurt me if I choose not to incur cost to come see him. But he always begs and pleads for me to trust him. It's so exhausting. He never changes and he flies into a rage if I suggest he should change anything. I'm running out of patience.

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