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Jul 01, 2016
I'm heart broken
by: Anonymous

I am in the process of splitting up with my partner who I believe has narcissistic traits. He was never physically abusive but he upset me emotionally. He put me on a pedestal like they do at first. I was the love of his life, best friend, soul mate and he told me he'd ask me to marry him one day. Everything was perfect, we spent all our time together. He told me of his cheating past but said he'd never met anyone like me before and he's a changed man. He said I'd tamed a bad boy! He seemed quite proud of his conquests and told me all about his threesomes, sex on the minibus he drove for work, dropping and picking up young people at a nightclub. He thinks nearly every woman fancies him. He is amazing in bed. He used to be a policeman and slept with lots of women through his work. His ex wife listed many women he'd cheated on her with on the divorce papers. I've always been very faithful and could never understand why people cheat! My ex husband cheated and beat me, i was abused as a child and opened up to my narc partner about it all. He seemed very understanding as he said he'd dealt with it in the police. I told him everything and he'd 'comfort' me, making love apparently to show he cared and i could stop him anytime. Probably getting off on it! Not long after he told me of women who phoned the police as they were being abused, he'd go round with other officers to deal with it, he'd then go back after the husband had been arrested and sleep with these women! I said they were vulnerable and he took advantage. His answer was they wanted it! I started feeling I was just another pawn in his game. Everything started falling apart when his female friend started flirting with him and texting him saying she hasn't seen him for ages. He was supposed to be taking her to see a show but fair enough he did say he'd be taking me now (they agreed if he was seeing someone else by the time the show came round he'd take them instead) she was upset about it and tried getting to him as she seemed desperate to go. Me being stupid thinking he might end up going with her suggested getting another ticket and he was quite happy to do that. She came on lunch dates with us and talked about sex and how horny she was! I hated her and said she's so out of order. His male friend said he's lucky having two women fight over him and we might end up having a bitch fight over him! Well sorry but no, I'm better than that. I stepped out of the game when he said he has other female friends who he mucks around worse than with her! He has lots of female 'friends' and ex girlfriends he still has contact with and it makes me uneasy. Where did my wonderful, caring, doting man go?? He says I'm too sensitive and he is doing nothing wrong, she did nothing wrong, they are just friends and he has never fancied her! I found old text messages where he said she looked stunning in her Facebook photos and if she's half as good in bed as she is at karate she must be good! He told me it was just a laugh and she does nothing for him! Anyway, sorry to go on, I'm all mixed up :( I try to find ways to stay because I can't help my feelings, I love the good parts of our relationship but the bad is beginning to outweigh the good :( He says he'll move away with me and never see them again if he can keep me. The trouble is I can't forget what he's done, he openly admitted he told his ex he didn't cheat on her but told me he did three times! How can I trust him?? Three other exs say he stalked them when they broke up! I hope all this makes sense! I am not in a good place right now. I am mentally drained. His ex said I'll never get rid of him and he is hanging on in. I hate the thought of him with someone else but why? It feels like it's all been a lie. He insists though that he's never felt so content. I'd like to believe it but I've heard enough of cheating stories and lies he's told women. One ex found out from the other woman and he still tried denying it until she showed him evidence! Even if he's trying to change he can't blame women for not trusting him. He said he knew he'd finally fall in love and the love of his life would leave and hurt him! He didn't end up asking me to marry him, instead he said we don't need to get married as long as we're always together. He thought that was nice but I cried and got no sympathy. I said I wanted to get married and found that quite romantic and now he doesn't want to. He said, well we can if you like! Every girls dream ! He said there would be lots of women at the church crying saying it should have been me! He has a big ego. What worries me is he kept lots of his exs text messages as apparent 'evidence' if he ever needed them. He used to read some out to me and yes they sounded crazy but I have been forced to send some over time and I'm scared he'll do the same! He's saved all mine to :/ I've mentioned my abuse and all sorts so I'm sure he'll tell his next woman all about it! I have so much more but I've gone on, I'm sorry. Does he sound like a narc? I am struggling, I want to be with him and all the nasty stuff just be a horrible dream :( thanks for reading this x

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