It wasn't me.

by L

I was married to a narcissist for 19 years, except I didn't realise.

My daughter used to say 'mum, why do you keep having him back?' My answer was always 'I feel sorry for him'. He had a way of making you feel desperately sad for him, a way of making you believe his lies, a way of leading you to believe it was you. Many many times I questioned my sanity.

He doesn't have any sort of relationship with his two grown up children, even though our son works for him. He used to enjoy boasting about our son's achievements in golf, but only when telling people how much money he'd spent on it.

Our daughter was a 'disappointment' because she didn't 'achieve' anything; well, nothing he could boast about, anyway. The fact that she has a wonderful boyfriend and two fantastic children doesn't seem to count in his eyes.

Now, eight years divorced, do I understand that it wasn't me. I watch now, how he treats his women, all 3+ of them. The lies he tells, when found out, and their belief in what he says.

I have even tried to warn them, but, of course, he tells them that I haven't 'got over' him. Even telling one that I'd been stalking him for two years.

I am free from his lies and humiliation now, but I feel so sad that my children have this evil creature as a father. Luckily, they are well balanced, and do see him for what he is, but it still hurts me.

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