NARCISM: IT IS HARD TO DEAL WITH: whenever you are successful or not. BOTH WILL BE TEMPORARILY.

by Emily
(The Netherlands)

I agree with almost all points. As it seems they all happened to me in the years I was married.

In my case: all my efforts to change my previous husband are in vain. None worked.

I have put myself in several hazardous situations (could have been killed, by accidents by irresponsible behaviour of my husband, towards me and also himself) and was hospitalized by HIS FAULT. I knew. He knew. He apologized.

Then the numerous situations I asked him to change, or NOT to continu his behaviour as extremely sensible to stay in touch with old lady friends, many, many many, and other things: in the first years he sometimes told me: you are right. Afterwards: he didn't agree with my point of view, was sneaky, was silent (to avoid a discussion), and things happened behind my back. Very annoying. As he knew he could not play with me, fool me, he got sneaky and I disliked that.

I did a test on Internet to find out if my husband could be a narcist; and 4/5 was positive. It shocked me. I realized at the same time how much I "accepted" already the strange events, his strange behaviour. As this is the problem too: you are happy when he is acting a bit normal!!!

He was shouting at me, in public, in restaurants. When his children were with him. It was so embarassing.

I am very unsure, if there is any chance for improvement. At least: not in this case. He will find a new girlfriend, accepting him, admiring him, tolerate things...But for how long?

There was no other option for me than to leave. I found out that many persons, of his family, are very selfish too, only care about themselves, little interest in other people. So I was wondering if genetics could play a role. In the end I left him, his family, in that particular town, and also his country. I lived abroad, no one to turn to and often alone.

I am glad it is all over! It took a while to start up again my life, a NORMAL LIFE. I chose for myself. Fruits are already visible after a few months. Happy me.

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