Spiderweb

by T
(Netherlands )

Just eighteen years old I met my mother's future husband who changed my life in seconds.

The very first time I met him when he came to visit us and stayed at our house he approached me from behind and touched me wanted tried to kiss me.
He scared me and I didn't know what to do I didn't want to spoil my mother's happy feeling of being in love and going to marry this man who would take her away over the ocean to his family, his wife was still alive but he already made plans. She was sick and suddenly died a few days after her death he flew over to marry my mother.
What followed were years when my heart was torn apart I missed my mother terribly he took her away into a family where she cared for four kids his boys. When I came to visit and ready to move over to Canada and study in Montreal the house where they lived scared me and those boys I didn't trust it at all. And my stepfather whenever we were on our own touched me came so close that I could feel him and tried to escape.
He always told me I'll get you one day.
That made me decide to stay away far away and not following my mother although I was too young to be on my own.
I started flying as a stewardess which gave me the opportunity to continue seeing my mother, always being distant to my stepfather who took disadvantage of me being there nothing could keep me away from my mother not even him, my love for her made me blind.
Throughout the years he never stopped hurting me by his sexual assaulting me, he hurt me so often and sneaky hurt the dogs or other living creatures, just so that we did know but couldn't do anything about it since he had a very dominant behavior.
I lived in fear always afraid about my mother, who I finally had to tell about what he did to me over the years, it was sixteen years later I couldn't play an ignorant game anymore and my mother wanted to know why I was so distant of him.
I was afraid for my two children he often took them on his lap caressed them told them stories and they had to listen there wasn't a way out he didn't care about their feelings or mine he and I often told this to my mother enjoyed us being scared he enjoyed me being caught in his behavior touching me kissing me making me uncomfortable and scared.
Because of my mother I had to face him so often, he said he loved me and he was threatening me about throwing my mother on the street.
After 33 years when my mother found the courage to leave him he unfortunately murdered her, even pleaded guilty for murdering his first wife and killing the doggie Iris. Sentenced for life it's so sad and why didn't I know what I know now about behavior such as his, why did it had to come so far and nobody dared to scream and step to the police
You know why no one takes you seriously until really bad things happen.
I wish I could finalize and find the courage to do so my book and teach those who are in similar situations not to be afraid and to stand up and speak, unfortunately our voices are too soft nobody hears.

My mother was murdered this year, after she stayed for two weeks with us which she never did he didn't allow her to stay away longer then a few days, now she found the courage to finally leave her to reunite with us her children and grand children back in Europe. She came back in ashes.

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