VIRGINAL AT 57 AFTER BRAIN DAMAGE

by r
(UK)

I HAD A CRANIOPHARYNGIOMA IN THE 1970s FOLLOWED BY INTENSE RADIOTHERAPY ON MY HEAD. MY PITUITARY WAS ALSO REMOVED AND DAMAGE WAS DONE TO MY HYPOTHALAMUS. I AM REGISTERED BLIND AND HAVE HEARING PROBLEMS, AS WELL AS MANAGING AN INTENSE MEDICAL REGIEME.

MY SEXUALITY IS NON EXISTENT. I AM ON A TESTOSTERONE REPLACEMENT GEL.FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I CAN GET AROUSED. BUT THE CONNECTION IN MY BRAIN IS DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR. MASTURBATION IS POSSIBLE, BUT MEANS NOTHING, I FEEL NOTHING. IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD. I HAVE LOST OUT AGAIN ON WHAT MAY HAVE BEEN A BEAUTIFUL PART OF MY LIFE.
I AM ALSO A CATHOLIC AND FEEL GUILTY IF I DO ANYTHING ABOUT AN ERECTION.
THE TEMPATION IS TO STOP THE TESTOSTERONE GEL, BUT THIS IS ALSO HELPING WITH ENERGY LEVELS. IF I USE TO MUCH GEL, I CAN WALK AROUND WITH THAT EMBARRASSING LUMP IN MY TROUSERS FOR UP TO SEVEN HOURS AND IT IS VERY PAINFUL TOO.
PARDON THE PUN, BUT MY STORY IS A CATALOGUE OF COCK UPS.
I DO STILL BELIEVE IN GOD, BUT I STRUGGLE EVERY DAY TO "LIVE" ANYTHING LIKE A NORMAL LIFE. BUT THIS SEX THING IS BEYOND ME.

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